Everything does pass, and we can endure and we can survive!! – Rahul Dravid
My grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin were coming home! Nearly a year since I saw them. They would be here for 4 days and I would be going my mother’s place to be with them! I was so happy. They were coming for my cousin’s engagement. Happy times! Amma called to say that they had arrived. I left office. I was going home!! Even the shareauto ride home seemed very pleasant!! 🙂 🙂
I could hear their sounds as I climbed the floor, my speed increased. I got excited when I saw a number of slippers outside home and when they welcomed and hugged me, the joy was unbelievable. I could feel the love which played merrily in the air. Old stories were told and retold – new ones that would become family folktale later were added! There was laughter, fun and a palpable excitement. A lot of chatting, dining together and all of that followed.
The day of the engagement came and went off very well. We all enjoyed it! 2 days later, they all left. I said the farewells, I watched the car until it turned the corner and I came up – I didn’t like the sight of just one slipper outside the house. There was lot of room to hang all the clothes outside. I didn’t like it. There weren’t many plates drying in the balcony. I didn’t like it. There were no packed suitcases. I didn’t like it. There was no noise and my house was empty. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it that they left. I would also have to leave the next day. My throat choked, but I didn’t show it to anyone. Couldn’t they stay one more day – just one more day? Couldn’t I stay for one more day?
When I came to office today morning, it was with a very heavy heart. I delayed starting. I kept looking at my mother from the crevice in the lift. The car ride was painful. The dosa that my mother packed for me seemed to be a crucial link with home.
I remembered something which my mother once told me. In her native village, there is a custom of getting Siva married to Parvati every Tamil New Year. Parvati would be going to her mother’s house where the wedding would take place. The people who carry the chapparam would hasten to reach her mother’s place and when coming back after the wedding, they would do so slowly! It signifies how much a daughter misses her mother. If this is the case for Gods, what about us mere mortals?
In the Ramayana, during the SundaraKanda, Sita is seen praying for the welfare of Janaka and those at Mithila. And she is constantly referred to as Janakaathmajaayaa (Janaka’s daughter). That the Sundara Kandam took place 25 years after her wedding is worth mentioning. Sita got married when she was 6 and she was Janaka’s adopted daughter. If there would be so much love between Sita and Janaka, what about me?
I wanted to go back in time. I wanted to prolong time. Alas! I couldn’t do it. Tears welled in my eyes but I held them back. Valluvar got it bang on when he said, “Anbirkum undo adaikkum thaal, aarlvalar punkanneer poosal tharum.” This means “Is there a lock to keep love shut? Tears will flow uncontrolled and spontaneously when one feels for loved ones.” Crying is even supposed to bring God before one’s eyes. Appar says so. Wouldn’t it bring my relatives before my eyes? The power of human emotion is infinite. My tears today were a sign of love which I am unable to hide.
Why must all this happen? All of this happens in our search for newness. We want new relations, which is why my mother came from her home, which is why I went from my home and which is why my cousin’s engagement is taking place. We want to expand our families. To wear new clothes, to see new places, to do new work, to make new relations – one must leave home. One must venture outside of the harbor and face the storm in order to be called a ship. Kilikku rekkai molaikkanum, molachu parandhu poganum – appo dhaan kili ku mariyadhai. 🙂 🙂
The parting of souls in love is always a pain. But it must be born – for the sake of duty, for the sake of new things, for the sake of this love to flourish itself! We part from school and college and leave our comfortable boundaries to see more in life. It has all passed! Meeting creates memories and parting preserves them. We recollect the happy memories of the past and feel happy even during tough times.
I will slip into a routine from today until the next occasion comes. What keeps me going is the thought of the next get-together. This pain too shall pass!